My Beautiful Baby

Eight years ago, Hubby (then Boyfriend) gave me the most wonderful birthday present I'd ever gotten (and HAVE gotten, to date): an 8 week old Golden Retriever puppy. We named her Abbey and I had HUGE plans for that puppy! I wanted to do competition Obedience and Agility with her. I wanted to make her my running buddy when she was old enough (you shouldn't run a Golden until they're 2 or you can damage their bones). We found out when she was a little over a year old that she had dislocating kneecaps and would need surgery on both her hind legs. All dreams of competition went out the window. Abbey became our resident couch puppy. She is the sweetest, most pure soul I have ever had the privilege to know. A few weeks ago, we noticed she would occasionally choke while she was eating. Since she is VERY fond of her food, we figured she was just being a little overzealous in her inhaling and started giving her meals a little at a time. I kept worrying about it though and made Hubby go with us to the vet on Monday. Abbey has cancer. :( We took her to a Canine Oncologist on Tuesday and he said there is nothing they can do. The tumor in her throat is inoperable. Radiation would ruin her esophagus and she'd never be able to eat or drink again. This type of cancer does not respond to Chemo. We've been told we have maybe two more months with our baby. The beautiful, sweetsie, Perfectly Precious Princess Pooh. I should tell you that Hubby and I practically own a zoo. We have three dogs and three cats at our house.But Abbey is special. She has always been special. We've always told everyone we know that the boys are indeed dogs, but Abbey is human. That's our child. I've had a bit of a hard time staying on Program. Monday night, Hubby made queso and I DEVOURED it! And topped it off with a big ol' bowl of ice cream! I know food shouldn't be used as a crutch or for comfort, but knowing that and practicing it are two different things right now. I'm also using running to make myself feel better. I'm trying to get myself together and keep myself there. Just so, so sad! :(